


Pas de Deux

by colazitron



Series: 2018 December Holiday Fic Countdown [21]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 15:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17124026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colazitron/pseuds/colazitron
Summary: Isak and Even get cast opposite each other in an adaptation of The Nutcracker.





	Pas de Deux

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I am in no way affiliated with the characters depicted herein or their creators. I made this up. It's for fun.
> 
>  **A/N:** for anon, who wanted an Isak/Even ballet AU - I love ballet, but I know shamefully little about it, so please be gentle

Isak has never wanted a role so much in his life.

Okay, so he's only been with the company for two years, and most of his parts have been in the corps or as side characters. He's never been given a main part, and he gets it. He's still young and he needs to earn his place here. He's never been bitter about it.

But he really, really wants this role.

For one, he's loved _The Nutcracker_ ever since he was a child. It's a cliché, sure, but it's the first ballet he saw. Not the whole affair, but an abridged shorter one made for children. Isak still remembers being enraptured by the costumes and the music, the staging, the _dancing_. There were so few words, but Isak felt whisked away and transported to another world entirely, as if he were Clara and the Nutcracker-Prince had given _him_ his hand and taken him away to the kingdom of the dolls.

His mother had indulged his constant babbling about the Nutcracker and the Mouseking and Clara afterwards, had given him a storybook of it for Christmas, a CD with Tchaikovsky's famous suite and come spring, she had signed him up for ballet classes. Learning that he would not immediately be allowed to dance the Nutcracker Waltz had put a bit of a dampener on Isak's enthusiasm, but eventually he'd simply decided to stick with it for as long as it took him to get there.

He's still never danced it. Never officially.

He's done it over and over by himself, used it as music to practice to, danced around the living room at home for his mother, but he's never done it on a stage.

And now their company is putting it on for Christmas.

Besides the nostalgia and how it would literally be the fulfillment of a childhood dream for Isak, there's another reason he wants it.

When their artistic director lets them know they'll be putting on The Nutcracker, she also announces that they'd be swapping some roles around, changing the story up just a bit. It's one of those notoriously malleable librettos anyway, The Nutcracker. Hardly two performances are exactly the same. But the exciting thing, the thing that makes Isak sit up straight, and his metaphorical ears perk up is the announcement that the genders of the Mouseking and Clara will be flipped.

Their Nutcracker will have a Claus and a Mousequeen.

There's an excited murmur going through the company, some of the girls wrinkling their noses as their dream of dancing Clara goes up in smoke before their eyes. It's not that Isak doesn't sympathise, but. The Nutcracker and Claus.

God.

It's--- it's much more than Isak would have ever dared to dream.

Before Sofia has even finished her first sentence, Isak has already started thinking about who to audition with if they'd have to dance in pairs. Vilde would know the steps perfectly and they fit together well, visually. She's a delicate thing and he can dance with her easily. But Eva has a mischievous air to her that would really work for the part of Clara and dancing with Eva is fun in a way that Isak sometimes forgets dancing can be. Eva and he get each other.

Then the Claus bomb drops and Isak's mind goes blank. He doesn't know who he'd be best paired with if it's with a guy, because that's not something he's ever had to think about – not for a romantic part.

But, god, he wants to be the Nutcracker so badly.

 

“Claus is probably going to go to Even, don't you think?” Eva says as they leave that day, bags of clothes slung over their shoulders. Auditions will be held in two weeks, and Isak's already working out a rehearsal schedule in his head.

He hasn't thought about Claus – not beyond the fact that if he gets to be the Nutcracker than he'll have to dance with whoever gets the part. He hasn't thought about who might _want_ that part.

He wonders if there'll be less competition, if some of the dancers won't _want_ to be half of a gay dance.

It sours Isak's stomach a bit. Their company is openly pro queer, but it's one thing to be an ally, and another entirely to dance a part like that.

Maybe.

Maybe he's being unfair.

The ambitious part of him says that the less competition there is, the likelier he'll get the role. But Isak doesn't want it because he's the only one who'll show up for it, he wants it because he'd be a good choice.

“Yeah, maybe,” he says.

Even's a good dancer. He's been with the company since before Isak joined it and he's had a few minor but also major roles. He's rarely just in the corps.

“Vilde and some of the girls are speculating that Sofia changed it for him,” Eva goes on. When Isak looks over at her and raises a doubtful eyebrow she shrugs and grins at him.

“That's just what they're saying.”

Isak snorts a sardonic laugh.

“I don't think Sofia plays favourites that obviously,” he says. “And I don't think she'd bank the success of an entire production on it either.”

Eva nods.

“Yeah, I think they're just a little pissed they won't get to be Clara,” she says with a wink and a grin.

“Are you going to go for the Mousequeen?” Isak asks. “You'd be great.”

Eva grins at him some more.

“I would, wouldn't I.”

“You would,” Isak says. “And you'd get to dance with me.”

Eva laughs.

“Yeah. Good luck with that.”

Isak scoffs and puffs out his chest.

“I don't need luck, I'll be amazing.”

Eva laughs some more, but then links their arms and changes the topic, telling him about how her mother announced herself for Christmas and how Jonas is getting on at his new job.

 

Isak is always careful to not dance himself ragged before an audition so that he'll be well-rested and un-injured on the day of. This time, he even writes out a plan and sticks to it. Meal times, sleep, no alcohol, no partying, rehearsal. It's maybe a bit overkill, but Isak really _, really_ wants the role.

The girls go first, so Isak sits and watches Eva's audition, gives her a hug afterwards. Technically, Vilde was maybe better than her. She's always very precise in her steps, but Eva is absolutely captivating on a stage. There's something about her that makes it impossible to look away from her and that raw energy translates incredibly well to the role of the Mousequeen.

“How did I do?” Eva asks as she comes out of the audition, bouncing on her feet in front of Isak.

“You did amazing,” he says with a smile. Eva's still flushed, but she's already showered. “Are you going stay or do you have a date with Jonas?”

Eva waves him off.

“Of course I'm going to stay. Break a leg,” she says and then leaves Isak to his warm-up. Isak watches her leave the room, catch up with Vilde by the door, both of them chatting already.

Isak is fourth out of seven on the list of people auditioning for the Nutcracker and he can't say that doesn't make him nervous. Even is auditioning too, which should at least dispel the ridiculous notion that he's being handed the role of Claus. He's a good dancer. If he gets it, he deserves it. He's auditioning for Claus too, and Isak wonders if that hurts his chances or betters them. Isak likes going for one role, preparing for it as best he can. Usually he has quite a set idea of what he wants to and can do. Even often auditions for several roles, like he wants to try them on or keep his options open.

When Isak is called out, Even looks up and smiles at him in passing.

“Good luck,” he says.

Isak smiles back and nods.

“You too.”

 

Isak likes to be realistic about his dancing, but he dances better than he ever has during the audition. It flies by. There's only the music, and the movement, and the Nutcracker and by the time he comes to a halt in his final pose he can't even remember if he did everything right. He has practically no recollection of the past few minutes, but he knows, he feels in his bones, that he did the best he could. If he doesn't get it, it's not for a lack of trying.

Sofia thanks him, tells him he did well, and Isak nods his thanks.

He's breathing hard as he's dismissed, still feels like he's running on adrenaline and fumes when he goes off stage.

“How was it?” Even asks as they pass each other in the hall, Even on his way to dance, Isak on his way to shower.

Isak opens his mouth but no words come out.

“You okay?” Even asks, frowns a little.

Isak nods.

“Really good,” he says, which is an answer to both questions, really.

Even's face relaxes into a smile and he laughs quietly.

“Okay. Good,” he says.

Isak wants to kiss him. Suddenly and overwhelmingly, he can feel his whole body fill with it. It would be so easy. Just take two steps forward, put his hand on Even's shoulder or maybe the side of his face or his neck – for balance and for contact – and just kiss him.

It would be so easy.

And it would be a tremendously bad idea.

Even is gorgeous, Isak has known that for two years. They get along well. They're friends. Risking that for something that's at least 50% adrenaline rush would be monumentally stupid.

Isak smiles at him.

“Good luck,” he says. “But don't take my role.”

Even laughs again, that same quiet, gentle sound, and gives Isak a tiny mock salute.

“I'll do my best,” he says and Isak grins.

Even always does.

 

Isak gets the role.

Isak gets the Nutcracker.

Eva gets the Mousequeen.

Even gets Claus.

Eva claps her hands excitedly and throws her arms around Isak's neck, hugging him tightly and saying something about how much fun they're going to have. Even meets Isak's eyes over the crowd of people looking for their place on the casting sheet and smiles, gives him a wink and a thumbs-up.

Isak hugs Eva back and tries to find his footing. He's got both feet planted firmly on the floor, he knows that, but he feels like he's floating.

He got it.

He _got it._

 

Rehearsals start immediately, and take over Isak's life completely. Even when he's not rehearsing, he's got the recording they're using on his phone and listens to it on the tram, on the metro, when he's out jogging.

Jonas and the boys complain they never get to see him anymore, but Isak tells them every time that if they could lower themselves to see him during the daytime, and without quite as much alcohol involved, they could still see each other. It's just that he's not going to go partying with them, knowing he won't be drinking. There's only so much drunk idiocy you can stand when you're stone-cold sober.

Instead, in breaks between rehearsal, he often hangs out with Even, or sits in on Eva's an the corps' rehearsals. He likes seeing all the parts of a production come together, and he knows that Sofia indulges him. That she lets him hang around and test and learn ropes that hopefully won't be relevant for him for many more years to come. He's nowhere near retirement yet, physically or mentally, but he likes learning these things anyway.

Sometimes Even joins him when they sit in on rehearsals, but then they usually get kicked out for talking and giggling and being general nuisances. It's a good thing their company isn't too big and everyone knows each other, otherwise they'd probably be making a lot of enemies over the course of the fall.

A lot of Isak and Even's dances are with each other. At least with each other on stage, if not directly _with_ each other, so it makes sense that they spend more time together now than before when they hovered in that stage between work acquaintances and real friends.

And maybe, the more they hang out, the more Isak learns about Even – about the way he smiles and the way he wrinkles his nose when his tea is too hot, the way his fingers and toes are always cold because he claims to have bad circulation, “something you'd understand if you were as tall as me” - the more he thinks that it wasn't only circumstance that kept them hovering in this not-quite-friends-not- _not_ -friends stage.

Because Even is not just gorgeous. He's funny, and smart, and kind. He looks at Isak like hearing him talk is something that Even cherishes. He treats him to tea like it's something they've always done, and it very quickly feels exactly as natural. Looking to his side and seeing Even there becomes Isak's new normal and yet, every time he does it, it still thrills him.

Isak has a crush.

An almost juvenile crush. The kind where he wants to doodle _Isak Valtersen Næsheim_ into his non-existent notebook and dot the Is with hearts. The kind where he feels giggles bubble up in his chest at random moments. The kind where every smile from Even makes him feel like his entire chest has been stuffed full of candy floss.

And that's not even saying anything about dancing with Even.

Isak has danced with Even before, but never a romantic pas de deux.

It's… almost frighteningly easy. Sofia and Hakon, their choreographer and one of the ballet masters, beam at them in that way that means they're congratulating themselves on their excellent casting choices every time they add a new bit to the choreography and Isak and Even get it just right. It doesn't help his crush, how natural it feels to dance with Even, how easily he stays in tune with his movements, but his crush probably helps the dancing. The Nutcracker _is_ supposed to be completely enamoured with Claus, and Isak is probably selling that and then some.

The only thing Isak doesn't like about dancing with Even is the way that sometimes, when they're done and holding each other's gazes as they hold their final poses, Even's eyes go liquid and his face open with the kind of expression that makes hope glow in every one of Isak's limbs. Isak's not unattractive, he knows that. And he and Even get along well. So it's not impossible that Even might feel it too, but Isak knows dancing, and he knows infatuation. He's not going to let this happen while they're both caught up in spending this much time together, in leaning into whatever chemistry they have and performing it for an audience.

He's done it before and it didn't-- well.

He won't risk it. Not with Even.

 

That doesn't mean it's easy.

Sofia and Hakon have clearly caught on to the tension between them, and Isak's not sure if they think it's just a lucky coincidence or if they can guess at the truth behind it, but they keep fiddling with their pas de deux, with every bit of the Nutcracker and Claus' love story. Everything keeps getting more weighted, closer, bigger, more intense, and Isak gets swept up in every pirouette, every lift, every push-and-pull across the stage.

It'll make for a damn good ballet, but his heart is getting tired of guarding itself against the adoration on Even's face.

 

“You keep pulling back,” Even says to him one night after practice. They're helping each other stretch and cool down, mostly quiet through it. Today's rehearsal has been especially brutal and Isak for his part can't wait to get home to his bed.

“When?” Isak asks, because is Even thinks there's something wrong with their dance, even if Hakon hasn't said anything, they need to fix it.

Even smiles a small smile at him and shakes his head a little.

“Off-stage, I mean,” he says.

Isak freezes.

“Oh.”

“Do you want me to back off? Because I never wanted to make you uncomfortable, I just thought...” he lets the rest of the sentence trail off, shrugs, the movement sloppy and inelegant in a way that always feels almost jarring after spending hours dancing with Even where every one of his movements is so precise and graceful.

Isak lets the sentiment hang in the air for a while. He studies Even's face, the openness on it, the way he can't see a hint of resentment if Isak decides that he doesn't want any of this to follow them off stage.

He licks his lips, tries to find words, and sighs.

“You know Chris?”

“Schistad?”

“Yeah,” Isak says quietly.

Even nods, frowning curiously.

“My first role here was some minor thing opposite him.”

“I remember,” Even says, and Isak's insides to a complicated twisting thing.

“Yeah, so. It got intense and we started hooking up. I fell in love. He just wanted to fuck,” Isak says with a shrug and looks down at his legs. It's been two years and it doesn't hurt anymore, but it did then. It really, really did. “We're okay now, but it wasn't great.”

“You think that's what would happen with us?” Even asks. Isak chances a look up at him. Even's face is still open and friendly and Isak sighs again.

“I don't know,” he says. “I don't think we should risk it.”

Even nods slowly.

“Okay, so if you're worried about this being all about the dance… when can I ask you out? After the premiere? Or after the entire run?”

Isak's breath catches in his throat.

“Because I think you're wrong, Isak, but I understand,” Even says. “I can wait.”

“I don't know,” Isak says without thought, his whole mind racing with the idea that Even might wait for him. Might truly want to be with him and a couple weeks delay don't matter much to him in the grand scheme of it.

Isak's never really been part of anyone's grand scheme like that.

Even nods.

“Okay. I'll ask again later,” he says and smiles at Isak.

Isak goes home that night with his mind stuffed full, trying to work it out. If Even really means it, if he's really prepared to wait, that probably means it's not just the dancing. But what if he just feels like he's prepared to wait now, _because_ of the dancing. It makes Isak want to skip ahead, but at the same time it makes him worry it's a trap.

So he tries to plan it out, tries to find a point where they've been doing it often enough, repeated the motions of the dance often enough that he can't blame that for how he wants to stay close to Even. For how Even wants to stay close to him. If he can have a training plan, he can have a plan for this too, right? Neither one is that pleasant to follow, but the outcome, in both cases, is worth it. They should wait until they're at least halfway into the run, until the first lull starts to set in and the dancing feels like a job again. If nothing changes by then, it's probably safe to say it won't change after either.

 

In theory, that might have worked.

In practice, Isak barely makes it off stage after the premiere before he crowds Even against a wall and kisses him. And Even, because he's sweet, and thoughtful, and fucking perfect, pushes Isak away gently.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

Isak isn't.

“Sure enough,” he says, and this time Even welcomes the kiss, lets Isak press his wrists against the wall and plunder his mouth. Kisses him back with equal fervour, lips rough and sloppy against each other, both of them still panting with exhilaration.

They kiss and kiss and kiss and Isak forgets about dancing, forgets about the applause he could still hear faintly at the beginning of this, forgets that he dragged Even into some dumb prop closet and that anyone could stumble in on them at any point. There's only Even's mouth and Even's breaths – hoarse and satisfied as they fall into Isak's ears like tiny little moans. There's only Even's hands that Isak finally lets go and that find his hair, his neck, his back, his waist. That touch him so securely. There's only Even's chest to lean against, Even's legs to tangle with. All of Even's body his for the taking, for exploring.

The tights hide absolutely nothing, and Isak presses closer delightedly, rubbing his own hardening dick against one of Even's strong thighs. He wants to be naked and horizontal right now, but he also never wants to stop what they're doing.

“We have--” Even tries to say, “we have to--”

“Don't care,” Isak interrupts and kisses him again.

His lips are probably pink and swollen already. He's lost track of time so completely, he doesn't know if anyone's gone looking for them yet. He figures it can't have been too long, or too much looking, because someone would definitely have found them if they really wanted to.

Even laughs gently into Isak's mouth.

“Isak, we need to get changed,” he says.

Isak whines and tugs at Even's full bottom lip with his teeth.

“Don't want to,” he says.

Even groans, grabs Isak's ass and pulls him closer, lets them rut together in perfect closeness for a perfect, breathless moment.

“Come home with me,” he says then. “Let's-- let's get changed and say hi and then leave.”

Fuck. The post-premiere dinner. Isak completely forgot.

Somehow, the thought of that, of the fact that their duties for the night aren't really over, is enough to pull Isak back to reality.

“Okay,” he says and steps back, attempts to straighten his hair a little. It's probably a lost cause. “Okay, let's go do that.”

“You'll come home with me?” Even asks, reaching out and holding on to Isak's hand, like he has to check.

Isak lets out a helpless little laugh.

“Yes, I'll come home with you.”

Even beams at him and leans down to kiss him again. This one is a lot sweeter. Gentle. Soft. Almost chaste. Full of something Isak can't name but wants to chase. A tenderness he wasn't expecting.

When they pull apart again, Isak smiles up at Even, the expression sitting on his face naturally, like that's just what his face does when he looks at Even. That seems accurate, if Isak's being honest.

“Alright, let's go,” he says.

He doesn't drop Even's hand when they step back outside.

 

**The End**


End file.
